THAT is where corn chips come from. Hmm… Maybe ol’ Professor Hardwood is onto something. He probably really loves corn. And all corn-related products. I mean, isn’t that what you’re supposed to put in a frame? Things you love? I’m gonna do that. When I get home, I’m gonna frame a bunch of stuff I love. Like lasagna. I *love* lasagna. It’s SO good. And cheesy. You know who else loves lasagna? Garfield. Man, that cat really loves lasagna. Maybe I should put a picture of Garfield in a frame. You know, as a kind of shorthand way of saying ‘I love lasagna.’ That would be so f*cking inside. Or how ‘bout a photo of *President* Garfield? Oh shit, that would be totally meta! People would be all like: Jane, why do you have a photo of President Garfield on your mantle? And I’d be like: Because I like lasagna, of course.
I have two main skills in life, interpretive reading and being really really ridiculously good at trivia. We should obviously be friends.