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My Father's Funeral

by Brett Charles S., 21 year old Creative Mind from Cape Town, South Africa

32 comments · 5 · October 11, 2011

203

Brett Charles Seiler - Coat, Jeans, Shirt, My Father's Shoes, Vintage Tie - My Father's Funeral
HYPE 203
  1. Coat

    , in Coats
  2. Jeans

    , in Denim Jeans
  3. Shirt

    , in Shirts
  4. My Father's Shoes

    , in Shoes
  5. Vintage Tie

    , in Ties


I was fourteen when my father passed away. The funeral seems like such a blur due to the depressive mood set that day. My mother struggled to walk in those doors of the church. She was indescribably shaken with the shock and future without the man she loved since she was seventeen. She’s turning 40 soon, three years since.

Before we arrived at the ceremony, I was pondering on what to wear. In a rush I had to put on something formal. I wore this big tie that covered half my face, this oversized blazer that made me look six, these trousers that would occasionally slip off and I had to shave – the first time I shaved my beard was on that day (even though it wasn’t that long). I walked outside to my relatives all staring at me with some sympathy. I felt uncomfortable. I walked over to greet one of my uncles’ who was standing in a line of the other men of my family. He said a joke, “You smell like roses”. Unaware that he meant that I smelt slightly feministic, I turned, “Thank you”. I took it as a compliment.

I wasn’t much for words that day; I didn’t really have a lot of friends at that age either so I didn’t have much extended support. My sister had many friends whom showed up at the wake and funeral to give her the support and to keep her mind off of the death. I, on the other hand, thought about for days and months and years. The days keep going. We all sat down in the front while the priest was talking. I didn’t concentrate, I wasn’t much of a religious person anyways – I’m religiously confused, but religion was the least on my mind. All I could hear was my mother and sister shedding tears and weeping. I had no tears to cry and I’m not sure why I couldn’t. Probably it was shock.

I was asked to say a speech, and I was so nervous that I said the whole speech loudly. Belting it out like it was a song. It was a short speech, I was fourteen – I couldn’t say much. I walked back down and sat while everyone stared at me. I couldn’t look back and give them what they wanted, a sign that I was ok.

Today, I was sitting at school excited to get home to make a look for LookBook.nu. I was quite sure what I wanted to make a look about but when I was looking for stuff to wear…I came across these shoes stacked in a small box above my cupboard. Pieces just started to fall together and I like to think that maybe the look found me and whole different approach was set. No doubtable I have found my favourite shoes today, they are worn and vintage. When I wear them I feel as if my father is next to me holding my hand, telling me he’s nearby.

Having said all that, I have come to the realization that LookBook.nu has become somewhat, for me, a visual diary.

More looks by Brett Charles S.

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Comments (32)

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Paul Jatayna
You write really well my friend:)
I am deeply touched with your story. This is just so lovely<3
Rodrigo V
Keep going with your great texts and pics. I think that you're one of the few persons that understand, and know how to use lookbook. You dont only share awesome pictures, you share feelings, stories, your stories, and with that, a little bit of you.
Brett Charles Seiler
Thank you so much, that means alot. It really does. Even though LookBook is mean for fashion, there's a certain way i see fashion. I treat it as a memorbilia. Clothes that make you feel nostalgic and all.

...but thank you so much, really does mean alot to me.
Gree :)
Your story is very touching and amazingly written. And it`s good to see that there are some users, who make looks that aren`t just pieces of clothes, but also art and stories. :)

And about your photos and outfit- i think that this is the coolest outfit i have seen today! Love it!;) And fanned you!!!:)
Brett Charles Seiler
Thank you so much my love <3
Andre Judd
apart from the very stylish post, you shared a very touching poignant experience. thank you for sharing this. Brett you amaze me everytime.
Brett Charles Seiler
Andre, your words mean so much to me. Thank you, i cannot explain how grateful i am for the friendship we have.
Aaron Tan
thanks brett for sharing that amazing story with us, you look awesome ! u deserve my heart for this
Brett Charles Seiler
Wow, thank you so much for that <3

it's only a pleasure sharing stories like these.
Rudolph Ru
you have this stunning ability to embellish your looks with charismatic stories to make the whole thing reaaaaaally spellbinding <3
Brett Charles Seiler
Rudolph <3
thank you.

You know you are one of my favourite people on LookBook.
Rudolph Ru
thanks :)) *blushes* so are you!
Jacob Courchaine
I love your hair like this :) Very touching story...I can't imagine what it must've been like for you at 14. Hyped!
0 · reply ·
June Kim
I read your words carefully and i totally understand you. I know what you felt exactly. And i also know that you had had suffer after his death. It reminds me of one of my rememberence too. Tonight is very dark and quiet. Lots of thinking. X.
0 · reply ·

  

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