It’s been almost three months since I’ve lost her and not a day goes by without thinking of the purpose of life.
I clearly remember what I’ve felt, as she called me and said with her hoarse voice that it’s the end. She won’t survive. I tried to gulp back my tears and concentrate on her peaceful words. Cancer seemed to be the worst dictator of the history, who wants to get everything and rule the world, till all of his soldiers are dead. It was ruthless, cruel and nobody could stop it.
I was witness to her disease and I saw how it sucked away the last hope from her. She was as skinny as an eight-year-old girl, with pale skin and frail body. Everytime I visited her in the hospital, I’ve lost a piece of my soul there. I couldn’t help her, and I couldn’t stand to cry, because she didn’t deserve it. Nobody does.
After a while we knew: God lost her. So, we were praying for recovering and forgiveness all day long. And we tried to forget, that it’s impossible to get better soon.
I was on her side till the end, I held her hand for so long and one day she just passed away. But I can only remember, what a beautiful and breathtaking woman she was, and how much she helped my family. She came from the stars, and went to heaven as a real angel. There are no words to describe how much I miss her. I can’t see her face, hear her voice, touch her hair… We’ve been completely separated, since she closed her eyes forever.
I had no idea how bad it gets to live without her.
„Life's so ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence.”
If I had a chance, I would tell her, she was one of my true friends I respected the most, she changed my life with her strength and courage, and she became a part of me. However, we can’t see each other anymore, she will always be with me in my memories, thoughts and decisions.
The one and only purpose of our existence is to change other people’s life. And to leave love behind, so they can smile when everything seems to be broken.