I'm nice. Love me.
Someday, I'll conquer the world with my own little standards and my secretively-hated formal chatter. In my spare time, I like to drink myself to sleep, watch dumb cartoons on Sunday morning while running around in polka-dotted pyjamas, eat unhealthy snacks and aperatifs that I let others make me and of course, spread around my natural-smelling odor for others to enjoy.
Forget 'Old Spice', go green.