What would you do in this scenario?

1 comment · save · last comment by Carolyn W. over 4 years ago

Mariana Mimin

Mariana M.

Czech Republic

44 posts

I have been dating this guy for just over a year. We met in high school and he was a senior and I was a junior. Our relationship has been pretty solid throughout, we have not had any major arguments or miscommunications and I can say I am relatively happy with him. This past summer I went to Europe for about a month on vacation while he stayed home. We stayed in contact, although I admit it was tough. With the time difference and all the different activities I was doing we only managed to Skype a few times. Then when I got back home, things went back to the way they were for a few weeks. After that he went off to college. He goes to University about a five hour drive away. I have visited him a few times to tour the university and go to a football game and I had a wonderful time. He has managed to come home about once a month as well as long breaks such as Thanksgiving and winter break.
Now there is a pretty big obstacle lying ahead of us. I will be studying abroad for four months starting in about two weeks. We had discussed staying together while he was away at school and it seemed to work out. When I asked him if he wants to stay together while I go away he also said that he would like to. At first I thought it wouldn't be that difficult but I had never imagined his school which is 400 miles away to be thought of as relatively close as opposed to the six thousand miles that will be separating us now. This is both of ours first 'serious' relationship. I don't only consider him my boyfriend, but a close friend as well. I don't know if I have invested myself to deeply into this relationship. I know he is in love with me, but we are both young and I don't want to regret being stuck in a long distance relationship. At the same time we will both be attending the same university in the fall, so I don't want there to be hard feelings in between us. I am not worried about him staying loyal to me, although he does get jealous when I am with other guys even though they are just friends. I'm not sure if we should take a break before I leave, or see how things are going once I am there.
I'm just looking if anyone has similar experiences or advice on what you would do in this situation.

over 4 years ago

Carolyn W

Carolyn W.

United States

1022 posts

I have a friend at school who is currently in a serious relationship with a girl who went abroad last year. We go to school in upstate NY, and she went all the way to Japan for a semester abroad (for about the same amount of time as you). She decided she wanted to take a break for those months, but the two of them ended up getting back together somewhere in the middle of the semester, and he got up many mornings to skype with her and deal with the time difference. They were together for a while before this, and still are, so they've got a few years on their count and are still doing well.

As for what I would do, I'd probably stay together, especially if you two are happy together and not having issues of loyalty or trust. Whether you are officially on or off while you're away, it's likely you two will still miss each other anyways, so I don't see how taking a break or completley breaking will make anyone feel better. I'd test out how it feels to be there and be together long distance before you do anything prematurely.

0 · January 9, 2012


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