Forum // LOVE

I was just being nice

40 comments · save

Katrín Hammer

Katrín H.

LUND,
Sweden

1818 posts

Do you ever experience this? Someone of the opposite sex misinterpreting your intentions just because you're being nice. I don't want people to think I'm interested in them just because I'm making jokes and being nice. Sometimes you just want a friend, you know? :)

It's funny really, because the guys I'm interested in never understand I'm actually interested in them.... haha.

5 years ago

#1
Marta Djordjevic

Marta D.

VANCOUVER,
Canada

2107 posts

Oh I hate that. My boyfriend has that problem, he's too nice to everyone, and without noticing , girls misinterpret that as flirting :/

0 · December 6, 2009

#2
Katrín Hammer

Katrín H.

LUND,
Sweden

1818 posts

@Marta D.

It's really weird...I'm nice to guys I'm not interested in and guys I am interested in I just ignore...haha. I don't know why. Not entirely true though, I am nice to guys I'm interested in too! But yeah...

0 · December 6, 2009

#3
Olive Kimoto

Olive K.

LOS ANGELES / THE SEA,
United States

2010 posts

I always try to help people out, especially the outcasts here, and they always like fall in love with me.... D:

0 · December 6, 2009

#4
Kat Rich

Kat R.

LONDON // VIENNA,
Austria

289 posts

I dunno, I had that with nearly every male friend I had...and I just thought we were good friends - so I basically gave up being friends with guys - just because I'm "afraid" of that happening again....

0 · December 6, 2009

#5
Emily L

Emily L.

United Kingdom

388 posts

yes i do, you have to be carefull with some people

0 · December 6, 2009

#7
Mike Vasquez

Mike V.

ROCHESTER, NY,
United States

139 posts

Take it from me, ladies: Men won't be friends with a lady unless at least a small part of them wants that female. Men don't just want to be friends with females. It is your own naivety that has caused these awkward situations.

0 · December 6, 2009

#8
Emily E

Emily E.

MIDWEST,
United States

420 posts

i know excatly what you mean. its happening to me right now with 2 different boys. they text me nonstop and its so annoying! i just want to be friends and they dont understand that concept at all. one of them wants me to be his girlfriend so bad i've had to yell at him to lay off. apperently it didnt work to well.

0 · December 6, 2009

#9
Katrín Hammer

Katrín H.

LUND,
Sweden

1818 posts

@Mike V.

But why? I find it hard to believe that all men only hang out with females because they want them.

0 · December 6, 2009

#10
Marta Djordjevic

Marta D.

VANCOUVER,
Canada

2107 posts

@Mike V.

is that really true?
I want to get more male opinions on this :\

0 · December 6, 2009

#11
Olive Kimoto

Olive K.

LOS ANGELES / THE SEA,
United States

2010 posts

@Mike V.

You can't honestly believe that you can't have a male friend that simply sees you as a friend..?

0 · December 6, 2009

#12
Daniel  McDonagh

Daniel M.

LONDON,
United Kingdom

2494 posts

@Mike V.

Mike V for the most part has it spot on.

Plus, change your surname, whatever it may be, to just V. That'd be killer.

0 · December 6, 2009

#13
Olive Kimoto

Olive K.

LOS ANGELES / THE SEA,
United States

2010 posts

@Daniel M.

Well, I am friends with a lot of guys. I see them as just friends. Can't it be the same for guys?

0 · December 6, 2009

#14
Rachel-Marie Iwanyszyn

Rachel-Marie I.

NEW YORK,
United States

50 posts

It is super hard to be friends with a guy sometimes. Females dont understand the power they have over males. All of my male friends are either ex's or they have wanted to date me in the past. I had a recent experience with a male friend thinking I wanted more too, now its super awkward and we prob cant be friends now.

0 · December 6, 2009

#15
Daniel  McDonagh

Daniel M.

LONDON,
United Kingdom

2494 posts

@Olive K.

For the most part, no.

Welcome to life!

0 · December 6, 2009

#16
Aurora .

Aurora ..

ONTARIO,
Canada

3744 posts

@Mike V.

What about the gay guys? haha, my best friend is a guy... but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me like that.

As for straight guys... I agree with you. But I think that they don't all realize it either. I've been friends with tons of guys and they've all had at least a bit of a thing for me, but most of them would never admit to it or have ever tried to do anything about it.

0 · December 6, 2009

#17
Lucas H.

Lucas H.

THE INTERNET,
United States

23 posts

Basically it's like this: Legitimately talk to any guy and he's going to thing you're interested. Flirt with any guy and he is going to think you're interested even if it's just playful. Look at any guy and he's going to think you're interested.

0 · December 6, 2009

#19
Sara B

Sara B.

NEWPORT, WALES,
United Kingdom

184 posts

not sure if i'm liking the whole guys must like you a little bit 'like that' too be friends with you.. theres 7 in the group i hang out with, only one other is a girl.. this can't be the case! most of my friends are guys, i'm seen as one of the guys coz we check out girls together, go to gigs drink pints haha
but i have the same problem, a guy i like didnt know i liked him AND he told me he backed off coz of someone else! rubbish! wish life was as obvious as putting friend stickers on guys :(

0 · December 7, 2009

#20
Katrín Hammer

Katrín H.

LUND,
Sweden

1818 posts

@Rachel-Marie I.

That's what really annoys me about it, it ruins friendships because it makes everything really awkward...

0 · December 7, 2009

#21
Ben B

Ben B.

FRANKFURT,
Germany

18 posts

@Marta D.

Oh Marta - i know exactly what you mean.
I am too nice to everyone, thats how i am. I cant be an asshole. ( ohah sometimes :P)

Like you said before "without noticing , girls misinterpret that as flirting"

Even if i dont mean it like that.


0 · December 7, 2009

#23
Katrín Hammer

Katrín H.

LUND,
Sweden

1818 posts

I still find it hard to believe guys actually can't see girls as "just friends". If girls can, why can't guys?

0 · December 7, 2009

#25
Katrín Hammer

Katrín H.

LUND,
Sweden

1818 posts

Yes, I'm sure :)

0 · December 7, 2009

#26
Katrín Hammer

Katrín H.

LUND,
Sweden

1818 posts

Don't they discuss boy-girl friendships in the movie When Harry Met Sally? I think I need to watch it again.

0 · December 7, 2009

#27
Lucas H.

Lucas H.

THE INTERNET,
United States

23 posts

On the other hand, don't act like you don't know you're flirting ladies. :P

0 · December 7, 2009

#28
John S

John S.

LONDON,
United Kingdom

360 posts

@Katrín H.

Yeah I think this is ridiculous. I'm bisexual and I certainly don't pick my friends or who I talk to purely based on who I'm attracted to. It just wouldn't work. And I have plenty of guy friends who are friends with girls they don't fancy. Or at least I don't think they fancy all of them?

0 · December 7, 2009

#30
Chris Fox

Chris F.

FORT WORTH, TEXAS,
United States

6948 posts

This is the story of my life, sadly. Everyone assumes I'm flirting, or coming onto them, or whatever.
Apparently, I really weirded out this one girl I had a class with. She is REALLY stylish, REALLY REALLY REALLY. I loved it; every day she just strutted into class, looking like a model. And one day, we were walking out of the classroom at the same time; she's dressed as perfect as always. And I said, "I love your sense of fashion!" She replied, "...........yeah," and proceeded to sprint-walk away from me as fast as possible. She hasn't spoken to me since. :|

Ladies, just because I think you look or dress cute doesn't mean I'm going to rape you. CHILL.

0 · December 7, 2009

#31
Alexe G

Alexe G.

MONTREAL,
Canada

1917 posts

ALL the time! I just act nice, and somewhat flirtatiously I suppose, because it always happens, and it makes what was a good friendship stupidly awkward.

0 · December 7, 2009

#32
Jordan Chark

Jordan C.

VANCOUVER,
Canada

32 posts

@Katrín H.

Guys definitely can, and do. Just, more often than not, there will be mixed signals. I hate to say it but I doubt very many guys can really tell the difference between fun-flirting and interestedinarelationship-flirting. It simply comes down to the fact that every girl, and guy, shows their feelings differently.

There will ALWAYS be mixed signals and awkward situations, but in the end things mostly seem to work out.

0 · December 7, 2009

#34
Claire S.

Claire S.

GOLD COAST ,
Australia

166 posts

@Mike V.

spot on. Ladies if you think girls and guys can be JUST friends, well, your kidding yourselves :)

at least this is true until your over 30 and the hormones have settled a bit haha

0 · December 8, 2009

#35
$o-fi Koivi$to

$o-fi K.

VT,
United States

260 posts

This happens to me all the time. I guess I need to lose a little faith in humanity, and avoid being nice to guys. But I can't stand most girls so where does that leave me? The worst was when this really cute guy, who, given, I have a little thing for (but I have no plans to act on it), told my other male friend he thought I liked him! Oh, so awkward, but luckily he doesn't know I know, and my friend set him straight that I really liked someone else, so I can at least pretend nothing happened. Or did it?

0 · December 8, 2009

#36
Chloe A

Chloe A.

MINNESOTA,
United States

3844 posts

@Chris F.

I was just going to come to this thread and post, "I bet Chris has problems with this" haha

and if anyone gave me a compliment like that, I would hug them. Everyone in my classes is afraid of me because of the clothes I wear. D:

0 · December 8, 2009

#37
Vivian N

Vivian N.

HOGWARTS,
Canada

191 posts

All the time. Haha. But, also, since i'm so nice to everyone, all the guys I do like, never realize that i'm interested.

0 · December 9, 2009

#38
Vivian N

Vivian N.

HOGWARTS,
Canada

191 posts

@Chris F.

Omigod, I know! I'll compliment someone, and it'll freak them out. Makes for some awkward moments.

0 · December 9, 2009

#39
Olivia F.

Olivia F.

LOS ANGELES,
United States

165 posts

being nice has its drawbacks definetly

0 · December 9, 2009

  

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