I’m a small town girl in a big city, and a city girl on a farm. Growing up on both, splitting time, you’d think I’d be comfortable in either, but the reality is that I’m uncomfortable with both.
In cities I feel anxious and rushed and like I’m not hustling enough. Everyone is doing and pushing and I constantly feel like I’m not working hard enough, and failing too much. Sometimes I feel paralyzed by the stress to constantly push and push.
In rural areas though I love the peace and nature, and finally feel like I can breathe, I also feel like I want too much and get restless. The thoughts of what I could be doing, and the desires and dreams of distant goals start weighing heavily.
Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
I guess I’m just damned.